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“Umm Qasr is a town similar to Southampton,” UK Defence Minister Geoff Hoon told the House of Commons yesterday. “He’s either never been to Southampton, or he’s never been to Umm Qasr,” said one British soldier, informed of this while on patrol in Umm Qasr. Another added: “There’s no beer, no prostitutes, and people are shooting at us. It’s more like Portsmouth.” Thanks Adam

Under normal circumstances you would think that this story in the Guardian was an April’s fools joke:Guardian Unlimited | Special reports | US draws up secret plan to impose new regime on Iraq Having defended Rumsfeld yesterday, time for some counter argument. An imperialist post war agenda for Iraq would be a disaster, but a Rumsfeld with his tail between his legs may allow for a way out. Both Blair and Powell should seize the moment of neo-Con weakness to push for a multilateral, UN-backed post-war plan.

People who know me might imagine that I would be pleased at the criticism of Rumsfeld, since much of it has been criticism that I have had about the war, a war that I thought was too risky in the first place. In fact I think Rumsfeld is probably right about many things that he will ultimately carry the can. Of all the hawks, Rumsfeld is the only one I have any time for – he has the personality that the spin doctors try to give Bush – he is a straight talker who does not like bureaucratic bullshit or state run inefficiency. His approach to the military is like a CEO from the private sector coming in to run an anachronistic public utility. The war is clearly not going according to plan, and because Rumsfeld went against the advice of some of the military the responsibility rests with him…

Now I may be wrong, but MSNBC seems on the defensive about the Internet now. An Internet pundit has been dragged up to say that the problem with the news on the Internet is that it is untrustworthy. Pretty Ironic considering that the MS in NBC stands for Microsoft. Well, does that include MSNBC’s own site or any of the other 2500 newspapers online? No this is a jibe at other news sources. I wonder if the cable networks will start to get irritated by the limelight that will increasingly fall on decentralized news coverage on the web, stranger things have happened.

On MSNBC (Moronic Simplistic News Befitting Cretins?) at the moment they are on a witchhunt, referring to ’embedded liberal’ Geraldo Rivera, no mention of Arnett of course. Shocked faces as quotes from Edward Said are read out and outrage expressed by Michael ‘Savage’. Michael is founder of the Paul Revere society. Here is their 9 point charter (comments in parens): 1. Make tax cuts permanent. (This would require permanent GOP government – so scrap democracy?). 2. Close the borders now. 3. Deport all illegal immigrants now. 4. Eliminate bilingual education in all states. 5. Require health tests for all recent foreign born immigrants. (get rid of ‘foreigners’ they are unpure?) 6. Eliminate as many entitlement programs as possible. (cleanse the country of poor people?) Up to here, standard neo-fascist stuff, but this is where it gets weird (and why I will never really understand ultra-right libertarians) 7. Reduce the number…

“Our best estimate of the likely duration of the war (given the evolution of the war thus far, and assuming that the United States is able to maintain its maneuver-based strategy) is approximately 3

There is a nasty air of schadenfreude around the doomsayers just as there has been too much gung-ho jingoism by the optimists. Neither are healthy and the fact is that it is too early to judge the success of failure of the Iraq war. What is clear, however, is that everything hinges on an uprising.

The frighteningly erudite Joshua Marshall: “Yesterday, The Washington Monthly released my new article on the Bush administration’s grand plan for reforming the entire Middle East. One assertion many found difficult to believe was my claim that the administration would soon seek to provoke wars with Syria and Iran. Today, Don Rumsfeld threatened both countries with just that.” Practice to Deceive via Nick Denton

“Surely this is a bipartisan issue. While many on the antiwar side complain about the media’s alleged “pro-war bias,” those who support the war, and the Bush administration itself, have also been ill served by overly-positive coverage that now has millions of Americans reeling from diminished expectations. “ “Here, then, is a list of stories that have been widely misreported or poorly reported so far: 1. Saddam may well have been killed in the first night’s surprise attack (March 20). 2. Even if he wasn’t killed, Iraqi command and control was no doubt “decapitated” (March 22). 3. Umm Qasr has been taken (March 22). 4. Most Iraqis soldiers will not fight for Saddam and instead are surrendering in droves (March 22). 5. Iraqi citizens are greeting Americans as liberators (March 22). 6. An entire division of 8,000 Iraqi soldiers surrendered en masse near Basra (March 23). 7. Several Scud missiles,…

Slovenians hit the streets on Wednesday to protest their inclusion in the coalition of the willing. “Small problem: The lovely Alpine nation isn’t a member. ‘When we asked for an explanation, the State Department told us we were named in the document by mistake,’ Prime Minister Anton Rop said at what Reuters called ‘a hastily arranged news conference.’” They Got the ‘Slov’ Part Right (washingtonpost.com)