Bullshitter’s investing guide

Posted by | July 21, 2005 | business | No Comments

My bullshitters investing guide, based upon absolutely no analysis or experience. I don’t even know if ‘Hearst’ is public – I don’t care.

Iwonder how it will do? I’ll check back in a year.

Pharma and cosmetics.

L’Oreal
They make proper sunscreen that the FDA haven’t yet approved, apparently. Or so some geezer down the pub said.
Buy

All the best deals are here, but nobody understands it, including professional investors.
Buy into the people that make lab coats instead.

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Media

Hearst
If big media doesn’t own little electronic media –
Sell

Clearly all media is undergoing a massive revolution everything big is going tits up. But the small stuff that will replace it is not public. So only big people who can invest in VC funds etc. will make money out of the little guys.

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Commodities:

Oil
There is no way that the Saudis are telling the truth about reserves.
Buy

Gold
Lot of bad stuff brewing in the newspapers
Buy if you are a wuss.

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Retail

The People who make True Religion Jeans
Even bigger wankers have started to wear them recently
Sell

Walmart
Think Woolworths where everything is expensive cos. Chinese imports increase in price.
Sell – eventually

Wholefoods
A Texan hippy store, how perfectly hedged
Buy

Virgin (the music bit, or whoever owns them)
Once fresh brand, starting to look dated and shabby, like the music industry.
Sell

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Tech and DOTCOM

Microsoft
Cummon they are not waiting to pounce. A company that sells Personal Computer software (small business computer software) when the market wants personal computer software.
Sell

In fact, sell all software companies, apart from the ones with call themselves media companies. Some of those are OK.

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Real Estate:

Real-Estate in London.
London houses are too expensive, interest rates can only go up, doing anything in London is too expensive.
Sell

Real Estate in the US
Interest rates can only go up.
Sell

Real Estate near future Wholefoods in US
You are what you eat. Wholefoods is the best real estate developer in the US.
Buy

Real Estate in Croatia
I have never been there – the postcards of Dubrovnik look nice.
Buy