Let the Good Times Roll by Guy Kawasaki: The Top Ten Lies of Entrepreneurs
Heh, great post.
Having never had a proper job since i left architecture, I used to fantasize about doing job interviews since I could really tell the truth if I wasn’t looking for a job.
Now that its possible to bootstrap a modest web service, I fantasize about really telling the truth to VC’s.
Top 5 fantasy replies to questions in a presentation to a VC:
Q. How big is your market?
A. $0
[The current market size is $0 because I haven’t been doing any paid work because I have been building this product for a marketplace of 1 – me. I built it because I really want this and believe in it.]Q. What is your burn rate 6 months from now to fund growth?
A. No real growth will be apparent 6 months from now.
[We don’t really need that much money the burn rate won’t be that much, I’ll be doing things on the cheap since I am as tight as a Camel’s ass in a sandstorm and if the growth is exponential it’ll likely look flat for 6 months.]Q. Do you suffer from founderitus – i.e. would you step aside for more seasoned management?
A. Yes and No – but Yes. Steve Jobs is just super duper.
[I suffer from founderitus in spades, the reason I start companies is that I have a problem with authority. Steve Jobs is my hero not Sculley. However, I’ll be moving to take a ‘founder’ role at roughly the speed of light, if I’m out of my depth.]Q. Pages 2-20 of your business plan, after the bullet point introduction read ‘All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy’, over and over again, can you pass me an uncorrupted copy?
A. I don’t want to do a business plan.
[I’m going to write the business plan after the business becomes clear and we have adapted to it in a Darwinian fashion – it’ll make for a much better read. I don’t think you can truly design things in advance, I don’t believe in crap like Intelligent Design.]Q. Here is our term sheet, its pretty standard, I think you’ll agree?
A. I’d never sign an agreement based on that.
[Unless you remove the conditions on the pref shares I won’t be saying looky here, ‘we have a term sheet’ – I would rather have a one in ten chance of making $1M than a cats chance in hell of $100M, my risk isn’t spread across a portfolio, and if it isn’t going to be a billion dollar company I will still be trying to make it worth something.