Imagine your son waking up on Christmas (if you’re into Christmas) morning and rushing to open his presents in breathless anticipation of getting a shiny new iPod, only to find out he’s got a Zune, which is like coming second in chess.
You think he’s being a spoilt little ungrateful brat until he (this is why it’s a he) gets the shit kicked out of him at school by mocking friends chanting ‘Zuny Zuny Zuny’. Yup, in the twisted ‘Lord of the Flies World’ of young adults, I’m sure this will actually happen. The Zune is unsafe for children, but surely that can’t be Microsoft’s fault?
Consider the ambiance of a cubicle divided office vs the average home. Cubicle offices, particularly in America, where deep plan spaces with no visible windows are legal, are soul crushing spaces. They destroy people’s individuality in a way that Stalin never could have dreamed of, and ironically, in the service of capitalism. Fortunately, people are not naturally inclined to this because they do not decorate their homes this way.
Microsoft is a company that sells to the type of business that has cubicle offices. It has made bad design a virtue, by making it look economical. Soul crushing design is what Microsoft is about, but personal technology is changing that.
Microsoft’s Zune may be the thing that makes it obvious that Microsoft has crappy products, because it is a luxury item for individuals, and individuals are more discerning than businesses when it comes to design.
This dirty little secret is what has suppressed innovation in computing. Its why people pay money for a piece of tawdry shareware like Powerpoint.
The moniker ‘business’, implies pro and ‘personal’ implies amateur, but the reality is entirely the opposite. Business software is quite often shit. Reliable shit, but shit nonetheless.
Zune manages to take the very few features of the iPod and over complicate or ruin them. For example, the navigation copies the iPod’s in the way it looks, and for absolutely no reason, because the way the navigation works does not require the scroll wheel design. This tell tale sign of unergonomic design is known to product designers as a skeuomorph, it’s why cheap hifi equipment has lots of flashing lights to look ‘pro’.
It’s best to let a better writer than myself bury the Zune, however. Andy Ihnatko in the Chicago sun-Times lets rip:
Yes, Microsoft’s new Zune digital music player is just plain dreadful. I’ve spent a week setting this thing up and using it, and the overall experience is about as pleasant as having an airbag deploy in your face.”