“Former CIA director James Woolsey said Wednesday that the United States is engaged in World War IV, and that it could continue for years. “ Oh super, excuse me while I slit my wrists. In case you were wondering, World War III is already over. Don’t worry, the US won, you can come out from behind the sofa now. CNN.com – Ex-CIA director: U.S. faces ‘World War IV’ – Apr. 3, 2003

“Umm Qasr is a town similar to Southampton,” UK Defence Minister Geoff Hoon told the House of Commons yesterday. “He’s either never been to Southampton, or he’s never been to Umm Qasr,” said one British soldier, informed of this while on patrol in Umm Qasr. Another added: “There’s no beer, no prostitutes, and people are shooting at us. It’s more like Portsmouth.” Thanks Adam

Under normal circumstances you would think that this story in the Guardian was an April’s fools joke:Guardian Unlimited | Special reports | US draws up secret plan to impose new regime on Iraq Having defended Rumsfeld yesterday, time for some counter argument. An imperialist post war agenda for Iraq would be a disaster, but a Rumsfeld with his tail between his legs may allow for a way out. Both Blair and Powell should seize the moment of neo-Con weakness to push for a multilateral, UN-backed post-war plan.

People who know me might imagine that I would be pleased at the criticism of Rumsfeld, since much of it has been criticism that I have had about the war, a war that I thought was too risky in the first place. In fact I think Rumsfeld is probably right about many things that he will ultimately carry the can. Of all the hawks, Rumsfeld is the only one I have any time for – he has the personality that the spin doctors try to give Bush – he is a straight talker who does not like bureaucratic bullshit or state run inefficiency. His approach to the military is like a CEO from the private sector coming in to run an anachronistic public utility. The war is clearly not going according to plan, and because Rumsfeld went against the advice of some of the military the responsibility rests with him…

Now I may be wrong, but MSNBC seems on the defensive about the Internet now. An Internet pundit has been dragged up to say that the problem with the news on the Internet is that it is untrustworthy. Pretty Ironic considering that the MS in NBC stands for Microsoft. Well, does that include MSNBC’s own site or any of the other 2500 newspapers online? No this is a jibe at other news sources. I wonder if the cable networks will start to get irritated by the limelight that will increasingly fall on decentralized news coverage on the web, stranger things have happened.

On MSNBC (Moronic Simplistic News Befitting Cretins?) at the moment they are on a witchhunt, referring to ’embedded liberal’ Geraldo Rivera, no mention of Arnett of course. Shocked faces as quotes from Edward Said are read out and outrage expressed by Michael ‘Savage’. Michael is founder of the Paul Revere society. Here is their 9 point charter (comments in parens): 1. Make tax cuts permanent. (This would require permanent GOP government – so scrap democracy?). 2. Close the borders now. 3. Deport all illegal immigrants now. 4. Eliminate bilingual education in all states. 5. Require health tests for all recent foreign born immigrants. (get rid of ‘foreigners’ they are unpure?) 6. Eliminate as many entitlement programs as possible. (cleanse the country of poor people?) Up to here, standard neo-fascist stuff, but this is where it gets weird (and why I will never really understand ultra-right libertarians) 7. Reduce the number…